Changes
by Auphanim
Summary: Sakura thinks back over her history with Sasuke. Angst Sakura PoV onesided SakuraSasuke !Spoilers!


**I just can't** stop writing when I have other things going on. X3

**This one's** Sakura-centric, because I got inspired by an icon.

**I don't own** Naruto, and for some reason whenever I write a disclaimer I want to write 'I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh'. Strange.

**That's all.** ITIT

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**Changes**

Changes… We can't stay the same forever…

You were happy once. Do you remember?

It was when we were really little, just entering the academy. Even though we hadn't even really talked, I remember falling head over heels for you. You were perfect and cute, and you looked so happy that you were finally learning.

While all the rest of us dreaded going to school every day, you always looked forward to it, and got top marks in all of our classes. You were like a goal to me, and I kept striving to be like you, or to at least be good enough to catch your attention.

The few times I managed to get you alone and talk to you, I thought you were sweet. Cute, and determined, ready to take on the world. You were the kind of boy I'd always dreamed of meeting.

I told you that I thought you were a cutey, and giggled when I saw the blush break out on your face. I leaned forwards and kissed your cheek. Barely a brush of my lips over your soft skin, but a kiss nonetheless.

You stared in shock for a moment, while I leaned back and giggle some more. You stuttered and excuse and ran off, probably to your brother. I just sat there on the bench, looking after you. It seemed we might be friends…

But then, something happened. Back then, I hadn't known what it was. No one told me, but they said it was awful, and a few days later the entire city was mourning. There was a huge funeral, and almost everyone was crying.

I remember that for weeks or maybe even months, both of my parents got more missions than usual. Now I know it was the city trying to cope with the loss of the major police force.

I ended up staying over at Ino's place most of the time. Although I hate to admit it, I cried a lot, and was mad at my parents. Why were they suddenly leaving me like this? Ino tried to comfort me, saying that it wasn't their faults, but I didn't often listen to her.

Soon enough, everything seemed to go back to normal. My parents went back to being at home more often, like they had been, and I went back to my normally bubbly self. At school, it seemed that everything was back to normal was well.

The teachers had been in a bit of a rut, all of them seeming a bit down, but now it was back to the routine, and as any kid loves a bit of a break, it was reassuring to see that after something sudden happens, normality will always restore itself with time.

The only thing that seemed changed permanently was you. The boy I had known was suddenly gone, replaced with cold and uncaring version that I didn't know how to deal with.

I tried to talk to you, but you brushed me off, saying that you had to train. When I persisted, you snapped at me, yelling at me to go home and leave you alone. I stared in shock for a moment, then ran off, sobbing until I reached Ino's house. That was when we were friends, and she was like my big sister.

As time wore on, and we all grew older, everyone accepted that you were cold and distant now, forgetting that you had once been just like the rest of us. I didn't forget, but pushed it down, discarding old feelings for new ones.

I had liked you back then, and now trying to conform to the rest of the female populous, I had a crush on you. Well, that's how it started. In the beginning, I had only thought of you as a friend; the kiss had just been teasing you and showing that I thought you were sweet. But now, you were the desirable boy that would always be out of reach.

I knew that, despite how stupid I acted. You were out of reach, and therefore safe to reach for. Always something to strive for. Soon, though, I started to see that I wasn't just pretending to like you like that for the sake of my reputation; I was actually starting to feel strongly about you.

And suddenly, Ino and I weren't friends anymore; we were bitter rivals and competitors, forever fighting in a seemingly endless game, and you were the prize. You and your affections.

It felt like I had finally won when I got to be on your team. After years of sitting behind you and trying desperately to get you to notice me, I thought you would have no choice but to see me know.

I was so excited. I invited you to lunch, but you just brushed me off. Giggle, giggle; that was all I did. It just made you more attractive, with your aloof attitude. I almost kissed Naruto that day, thinking he was you. But the real you was much harsher.

You told me I was annoying, and basically did to me what I did to Naruto. You really put things into perspective for me, though I'm sure you didn't mean to. I wanted to be nice to Naruto, so that he didn't have to feel crushed like I did in that moment.

He blew it, of course, as he always does. He ran away from me for no reason, after I had just offered to walk him to class. I labeled him as not worth the effort anymore, and concerned solely on you once again.

Finally, our missions began. You were wonderful on all of them, and I loved spending time with you, even if I had to share that time with Naruto and Kakashi-sensei.

Our missions were fun, but kinda boring when we first began. Catching animals, picking weeds; that sort of thing. You were always wonderful, no matter what we were doing, and as we kept training, you just got better and better.

It really showed when we went up against Zabuza and Haku in Mist.

We told it was to be an easy mission; escorting a bridge builder back to his home. Simple, until we found out that he's being sought after by one of the most powerful and influential people in the world.

Yikes. The mission got pretty complicated all of a sudden. First, there was the run in with the demon brothers, I think they were. Naruto and I stood around like a couple of bumps on a log, while you quickly leapt into action, beating one on your own while Kakashi got the other.

You were just amazing, all of your movements full of self confidence and control. You knew exactly what you were doing, and how good you looked while you were doing it. I saw the beauty in all of your moves, but all Naruto saw was another challenge.

Thinking back on it all, maybe he had the right idea. Instead of worshipping you, perhaps I should've been second guessing you and trying to be strong like you. Well, I was trying to be strong, but I suppose be stronger than you. Like Naruto. At least you noticed him.

We fought Zabuza next, and he basically handed our asses to us, if you'll excuse the curse. If it hadn't been for Naruto's plan, I think we might've died there. I was impressed with our dumb blond, but you did most of the work. At least, I told myself that.

For a week afterwards, all was calm. We just trained and trained, since Kakashi-sensei seemed sure that Zabuza was still alive. The tree climbing exercise. That was fun, and easy for me. I felt so proud of myself and happy when I could do it better than both you and Naruto. I felt that I would finally earn your praise.

But as usual, it was only Naruto who said anything good to me. He cheered me on, and congratulated me. It was only you I wanted to hear such things from, but in my heart I knew you would never even think of uttering anything like that.

Zabuza showed up again, this time with Haku. It was the hunter nin that had tricked us into believing Zabuza was dead, just as Kakashi-sensei had said. For what I saw of the battle, I was stunned. It was incredible to believe that both you and Naruto had come so far in only a week.

I was so scared, standing there in the mist with only my charge there with me. It seemed that I was in the dark forever, and no sound could penetrate the fog. Deaf and blind, I could only make sure that the man was safe.

Finally, the mist cleared, reveling one of the most traumatizing things I have ever seen. Kakashi-sensei, with his hand straight through the chest of that poor boy. I think I might've screamed, but I don't remember, but the next thing I thought about was you.

Haku was defeated, so I could safely go and see you. I ran straight to Naruto, demanding to know how you had managed to get Haku over to Kakashi-sensei, but he just shook his head, looking horrified. All at once, I knew something was wrong, and I ran over to where giant ice mirrors were cracking apart.

You were lying in the center, not moving. I stared for a moment, alone except for our charge. I didn't know what to do. My life came crashing down, and nothing seemed worth it anymore. As I was explaining the shinobi rule of never showing one's feelings, everything crumbled, and I dropped to my knees, sobbing on your lifeless chest and shouting out your name.

I was so scared that you were gone. I didn't want to live, I didn't want to move, I didn't want to do anything but see you move again; to hear your voice again, even if it was chiding me for breaking one of the rules.

I couldn't deal with the thought that my life might not have you in it. It was horrifying even thinking about it. What could I do? What would I do when the driving force in my life was gone? When the one person that I truly loved with all my heart was brutally murdered just a few feet away from me?

It felt like I was there for hours, ignoring everything else but my sobbing and how cold you were underneath my touch. But suddenly, your voice broke into everything, telling me that I was heavy.

I cried even harder hugging you then.

The chuunin exams were next. Some of the most difficult experiences I've ever been through happened there.

The first test was a breeze; I knew almost all of the answers, though they were all of a much higher level than we were to know. I guess I've always been a bit of a book worm. The only thing I was really worried about was how Naruto would do.

As it was, we passed easily, and moved onto the next stage; the jungle. That had to be the most horrifying place I'd ever been in, and even now I don't ever want to go back. Hell, I don't even want to think about it.

Things went by easily, at first, but soon we were involved in something much bigger than just a test. A mad man by the name of Orochimaru had somehow slipped in past all the Jounin and ANBU, and had found you.

The fight was terrifying, and all I did was stand there and watch. Watch as you lost your cool and watch how Naruto made you realize what was happening. It was scary, not the giant snake or man, but what it had done to you. You weren't as invincible as I had always thought, and this was the first time I'd ever doubted you.

That Orochimaru guy bit you, then, and you fell gravely ill. For almost two days, I was alone, taking care of you and Naruto, trying desperately to prove that I was strong enough to help you guys sometimes as well.

But in the end, I wasn't. Three sound nin came, and it was Rock Lee to the rescue. He risked his life for me, and all I did was worry about you. I've been so unfair to him, pushing him away just because he didn't fit my stupid definition of handsome.

You woke up in time to end the fight, in an incredibly brutal way. I couldn't pinpoint it, but you had changed somehow. You had gained power, yes, but something else in you had been warped as well. This was the first time I was afraid of you.

Somehow, I managed to stop you. And we quickly moved on, with help from Kabuto, to the next stage.

It was the individual fights. Even though you were still suffering from that bite on your neck, you beat your opponent easily with moves that you had gained from watching Lee. I think everyone was amazed when you did that.

My fight wasn't all that impressive. It ended in a draw between me and Ino. I had done my best, and it seemed that I was only on par with her. I still had a ways to go before I could be the best, and I was willing to work harder to make it happen.

Naruto was, surprisingly, amazing. Although some parts of his fight were less than enjoyable, I still found myself rooting for him and hoping that he came out on top. After all, we were team mates and, though I hated to admit it at first, friends.

Finally, the last part of the exams came. Naruto's battle was, again, amazing. It was simply astounding how good he had become. I had never thought I would be watching Naruto with almost the same thoughts as I had when I watched you.

You came late, though, with Kakashi-sensei. And I have to say, your fight was one of the most terrifying. Gaara was scary, with his glare and that sand, but you held up just fine against him, even when he had that 'impenetrable' armor up.

Before the exams could even be finished, Konoha was attacked. It seemed that Sound and Sand had teamed up to destroy us during the exams. I'm not sure what all happened, as I was quickly put after you, but somehow the Hokage was killed.

Naruto, Shikamaru and I chased after you, and when we finally came upon you and Gaara, it was just me and Naruto. I was caught and trapped by sand, but when I woke up Gaara was out and you and Naruto were both alive.

When I asked you how you defeated Gaara, you got so, so mad. You were so outraged at the thought that Naruto had grown stronger than you. I was… a bit scared, to tell the truth. I'd never seen you mad at Naruto before… well, not really mad.

We never really got much of a break, as before I could really understand what was going on around me, Uchiha Itachi, your older brother, came into Konoha. He put both you and Kakashi-sensei in the hospital, and it was a long time before Tsunade was found.

Every day, Ino and I came to your room with flowers. We watched over you, worried sick that you would never wake up. But something in me had changed, and I had other things to do than worry about you all the time. Sure, I was still in love with you and worried to death over you, but there were others.

I visited Lee as well, and encouraged him to try his best. No matter how grim the situation looked for him, I always made sure that he knew I was behind him all the way.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Naruto and that large white haired man came back with the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade. She healed both you and Kakashi-sensei so easily, and almost as soon as you were better, you demanded a fight from Naruto.

I should've seen what was coming sooner.

Up on the roof top, you both went at each other as if you wanted to kill each other. I ran in between you at the last minute, to try and stop you. I see now how stupid that was. But Kakashi-sensei saved me, and forced both of you to stop.

The next night, you left Konoha.

I tried so hard to keep you here. I declared my love and spilled my heart out for you. Every word I said was true; so true it made my heart ache just thinking about it. I thought I might have some impact on you; that you would see how much I loved you and realize that you loved me as well.

In the end, you just through all of it back in my face, and made me feel like an idiot. You told me I really was annoying, and I could practically hear my heart breaking in my head. But you whispered thank you, just as you hit me. I wonder what you meant.

By the time I woke up in the morning, you were gone. Immediately, a group of genin left, headed by the chuunin Shikamaru. I begged Naruto to find you and stop you. To bring you back here, where you belonged, and where friends could help you.

They haven't come back yet… I wonder if you're all right…

Looking back over things now, I wonder if there was anything I could've done. Maybe if I had supported you at just the right time; maybe if I had said something different or taken a different path that day, things would've turned out differently. Or maybe there was nothing that I could've done to prevent what's happened.

We can't stay the same forever, but I wish we could.

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I know I left some stuff out, but that stupid race mission was so boring. -.-

Yeah, so tell me what you think. This is my first time writing from Sakura's PoV.

_r e v i e w_


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